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Draw
on the chalkboard a large square with a sad face and a large circle with a happy
face. Have students names on post-its in the circle. Student's post-it moves to
sad face for infractions....have student move the post-it! Can be move back for
a positive action.
Discipline
Ideas http://www.disciplinehelp.com
The
Bully I. BEHAVIOR: Specific
attitudes and actions of this child at home and/or at school. Pushes people around,
verbally and physically. Threatens others continually. Has a bad temper—and often
a bad mouth. Brags loudly and often about his/her strength. Extremely negative.
Also has a very poor self-concept. As a result, becomes aggressive with other
people at the first hint of trouble. A close look will reveal that this student
always thinks others are trying to "put down" or take advantage of him/her. Talks
back. Usually very public in announcing what he/she plans to do. Often has learning
problems. Uses physical aggression but, generally, only outside the classroom.
In the classroom, makes verbal threats about what he/she will do after leaving
the classroom. If articulate, may be verbally aggressive. Degrades others and
humiliates others in public view. Generally either a loner with few friends, or
a gang leader. Those who join gangs identify with the bully in order to intimidate
others. Regardless, the bully usually has a genuine reputation for being a fighter.
Responds to all interaction negatively and physically. Looks for trouble. Parents
may promote fighting.
II. EFFECTS: How behavior affects teachers, classmates,
and parents in the school learning environment and the home family situation.
Many students are frightened. Some think it’s funny when they experience the immature
behavior of a bully. A climate of fear exists in the classroom. Rights of others
are restrained. Confrontations take place. A bad example is set. Others see problems
being dealt with by violence. School time is wasted. Many students wish they had
the nerve to act the very same way because power gives them a great deal of attention.
Students who are being bullied are threatened. They’re apt to become highly emotional
and upset—and may be afraid to come to school. Physically weak students may follow
the bully for protection—from this bully or from other bullies. A bullying experience
in class immediately stops the learning process. Lectures and discussions are
interrupted—and perhaps attention is lost. Teacher may be affected personally
because of a feeling that he/she has lost power in the eyes of the rest of the
class. A negative atmosphere is created. Occasionally, teacher may be afraid of
a bully.
III. ACTIONS: Identify causes of misbehavior. Pinpoint student
needs being revealed. Employ specific methods, procedures, and techniques at school
and at home for getting the child to modify or change his/her behavior. Primary
causes of misbehavior: Attention: This student is an attention seeker and enjoys
the attention he/she gets from peers and adults. Power: This student demonstrates
power by his/her ability to physically hurt others. Being physical gives him/her
a feeling of being in control. Self-Confidence: The bully usually knows that hurting
is wrong, but being physically strong makes him/her somebody—it improves a poor
self-concept. Primary needs being revealed: Sexuality: This student can establish
a relationship only by being the strongest. This could well be the lesson that
is being taught at home. Escape from Pain: This person’s life could be so negative,
and he/she could be so afraid of what is going to happen next, that he/she adopts
bully behavior for protection from others. Secondary needs being revealed: Gregariousness:
This student needs to belong to a group, but he/she is unacceptable; thus the
student becomes the leader of his/her own group. Power: Because of an inability
to function socially, the bully exerts power by physical force. He/she may get
beaten up at home, and may win approval at home by being tough at school. Autonomy:
Physical power makes this student feel independent, in charge of his/her life.
Use the "Delay" technique. If the bully threatens to "get someone" after class,
hold him/her after class. Don’t let the bully leave—or he/she may have to carry
through to keep peer respect. Say, "You made a threat. Now you’ve had time to
think. If you carry through, that’s premeditated." Then explain what this means:
If the student chooses to go ahead, he/she must be prepared to face the full consequences,
whatever they may be. However, don’t tell the student what the specific consequences
will be. Don’t assume this student is tough. The bully may in fact be weak, and
may be using his/her antics to cover up insecurity. Likewise, a student who is
loud is not necessarily an extrovert.
Establish a one-to-one relationship
with the bully. This student needs—and always lacks—such a relationship with a
strong and successful adult model. Be gentle rather than tough. The bully can
handle toughness—it’s his/her forte. However, the bully can’t fight gentleness,
and this is what he/she really wants. Take the student off the hook. The bully
usually accepts bigger responsibilities well, and will do as you say. To take
the student off the hook, you could encourage him/her to say to others, "Miss
Jones won’t let me fight." Keep in mind that kids who fight an authority figure
do so only to compensate for a flaw in their own characters which they themselves
may or may not recognize. Therefore, you must help the student make the identification.
Make it safe for the bully to be vulnerable to others. Otherwise, he/she will
keep bullying because that behavior keeps others away and shields areas of insecurity.
Openly address the problem of his/her insecurity; it is the main issue. Give this
student big responsibilities—and rechannel his/her energies constructively. Praise
him/her for appropriate behavior continually. And when you do, call the new behavior
"strong." Design activities which will bring out his/her leadership and assertion
strengths in a positive way. However, be sure to make success or failure "safe"
when you do. Show the student that you care about, respect, and trust him/her.
This type of student tends to be extremely loyal. Discuss the problem with parents.
However, make sure the student attends any private conference. If you don’t, a
credibility gap may develop between you and the student. Let the student help
decide any consequences should he/she falter. Let the student know that you like
him/her, but that you dislike the behavior. Don’t put the student in a position
in which he/she must "prove" him/herself, or the bully behavior may recur. Let
the student know that bullying can’t be tolerated—no matter what you think of
him/her. The bully must be aware of your respect for people. Therefore, make sure
you don’t do anything which could be considered "bullying," or abusing power.
Athletics are a good outlet for this behavior. Talk to your physical education
colleagues and coaches. Have him/her sit near or work with the opposite sex.
Never
forget the motivational force of pride. However, remember that true pride has
one source: solid personal achievement coupled with the respect for others that
grows out of self-respect. To instill pride in a student, a teacher must give
him/her personal success and meaningful accomplishments. If not, lack of self-respect,
degradation, and even shame make pride a difficult achievement for some students,
especially the bully.
IV. MISTAKES: Common misjudgments and errors
in managing the child which may perpetuate or intensify the problem. Teachers
or parents saying, "People won’t like you when you act that way." This is exactly
what the bully wants because it gives him/her the desired attention. We fail to
recognize that this child will pay any price for attention. Publicly putting down
a bully—or publicly showing pride or pleasure in his/her physical victories. Prejudging
a child a bully in every situation because of past behavior. Treating the bully
inconsistently. Reacting personally and making threats in an attempt to change
behavior. Trying to bribe the bully. Attacking the individual and not the behavior.
Failing to dig out the bully’s true underlying motives. Failing to reinforce positive
behavior of the bully. Believing all bullies are extroverts. A loud outer facade
can be deceptive, and teachers and parents alike can often feel that every bully
is an extrovert. Yet, the opposite is often true. Overlooking his/her potential.
Excluding the bully. Protecting others, but never protecting the bully. Getting
into a value argument with parents over whether fighting is "right" or "wrong."
Putting hands on students in any situation, whether professional guidance or discipline.
Of course, every teacher must know the rules concerning corporal punishment. However,
even holding, pulling, and touching can lead to trouble. One violation can ruin
an otherwise good career. Failing to treat both sides of the trouble. We all know
that trouble has two sides. For instance, we know it usually takes two students
to get into a fight. Yet, we are often likely to handle the more aggressive of
the two rather than deal with both. Even if another student’s wisecracks caused
the confrontation, the one who struck the physical blow is likely to receive most
of our attention and reprimand. See
Discipline article
The
Apathetic I. BEHAVIOR:
Specific attitudes and actions
of this child at home and/or at school. Doesn’t pay attention in class. Doesn’t
do assignments and, therefore, has poor grades. Will not enter into any class
discussions, or discussions regarding anything. Has a poor sense of self. Immature
and easily distracted to relatively unimportant matters. Has a short attention
span. Frequently absent, tardy, or both. Isolates him/herself socially. Generally
has a sloppy personal appearance and negative attitude. Displays "I don’t care"
attitude in everything that he/she does. In many ways, seems emotionally dead.
Tends to be slow in physical movements—even in leaving class. Doesn’t have a lot
of friends. Personal history is not marked by success. May watch TV excessively,
or spend time driving or riding in cars.
II. EFFECTS:
How behavior
affects teachers, classmates, and parents in the school learning environment and
the home family situation. Other marginal students are influenced to become apathetic
as well. Importance of academic work and the school itself is diminished. Teacher
becomes frustrated easily and frequently with his/her lack of success in trying
to motivate this student. Class morale is often lowered. Other students often
become disturbed and can’t concentrate themselves. Teacher often devotes too much
time to the apathetic student, and ends up losing control of the class. Continued
prodding during class time is necessary. Necessity of make-up work, extended deadlines,
and varied standards is increased. Teacher may ignore student’s existence if he/she
is not a troublemaker.
III. ACTIONS:
Identify causes of misbehavior.
Pinpoint student needs being revealed. Employ specific methods, procedures, and
techniques at school and at home for getting the child to modify or change his/her
behavior. Primary cause of misbehavior: Self-Confidence: Due to a feeling that
he/she has little worth, this student feels rejected. Primary needs being revealed:
Escape from Pain: The apathetic person is feeling a lot of pain and chooses to
be apathetlc as a means of insulating him/herself from others who might possibly
cause him/her pain. Secondary needs being revealed: Affiliation: This student
needs to develop a close friendship with an adult or peer. Gregariousness: This
student needs to belong to a group of some kind. Such a membership increases motivation.
Status: He/she needs to improve self-esteem and develop a sense of being a worthwhile
person, important to someone. Provide the student with short-term tasks for which
goals are clearly seen and clearly achievable. This strategic action is an absolute.
Ask for his/her opinions during class and after class. Give concrete rewards for
any altered behavior. Find a "payoff" for the apathetic student which will turn
him/her on to learning in the school. It may be an extra-class activity. Remember,
involvement is a key. Therefore, involve the student in the learning process by
creating a sense of ownership. It must be the student’s room, teacher, and class,
before he/she will become involved. Never forget, this student doesn’t believe
anything belongs to him/her. Attempt to make materials more relevant and available
to the student. Accept the fact that not everything that happens in the classroom
or in the school is going to be of interest to everyone, and that some students
who are not really apathetic may be labeled thus erroneously. Contact parents
immediately when you begin to observe this problem. Don’t wait until the student
is so far behind in his/her work that this, rather than the apathetic behavior,
becomes the primary problem. Seek input from the counselor or from other teachers
who have had this student in their classes. At every opportunity, express your
concern and your desire for this student to succeed. Until you can give the student
a win, he/she will remain apathetic. Therefore, consider adjusting your standards
to reach this student. This action is a primary consideration in changing the
behavior. Too, you may have to forget make-up work.
IV. MISTAKES:
Common misjudgments and errors in managing the child which may perpetuate or intensify
the problem. Failing to create opportunities for this student to succeed. Ignoring
the student altogether, or assuming he/she doesn’t want to learn. Failing to check
to see that the student is completing assignments on a daily basis. Requiring
less from this student than we do from other students. Failing to make a sincere
effort to really get to know the student personally. Confronting the student in
front of the class. Assuming that the student is physically well and ready to
learn.
The
Underachiever I. BEHAVIOR:
Specific attitudes and
actions of this child at home and/or at school. May be a student who can’t do
well, one who has not done as well as he/she should, or one who is being passed
reluctantly. Underachievement can mean different things to different teachers.
Regardless, experiences failure. This is the common thread. May be scared. May
not feel very good about him/herself. Susceptible to peer group pressure. Likely
to be very bored. Doesn’t accept responsibility. Doesn’t work up to his/her abilities.
Has poor study habits and usually doesn’t do his/her homework assignments.
II. EFFECTS:
How behavior affects teachers, classmates, and parents
in the school learning environment and the home family situation. Teacher is concerned
and frustrated. In truth, the underachiever may be concerned too. Lessons being
learned in class begin to seem unimportant to other students. Parents are upset
because they believe teacher isn’t teaching correctly. Other kids—especially borderline
students—get pulled down to a level of underachieving with this student.
III. ACTIONS:
Identify causes of misbehavior. Pinpoint student needs
being revealed. Employ specific methods, procedures, and techniques at school
and at home for getting the child to modify or change his/her behavior. Primary
cause of misbehavior: Self-Confidence: The inability to achieve causes a great
deal of insecurity. Primary need being revealed: Escape from Pain: This student
has experienced a great deal of failure and is very fearful of risking future
academic attempts. Secondary need being revealed: Achievement: This student needs
tasks that are within his/her ability range. If any student needs achievement,
it is the underachiever. An especially difficult student attitude to counteract
is "playing it safe." The student with this attitude won’t aim high because he/she
doesn’t want to be disappointed. Changing this attitude takes time. However, the
only way to begin is by rewarding effort as well as achievement. Praise and encourage
the student’s initiative. But don’t push this student, or he/she will never move
out of the "safe zone." Recognize one fact, and you can do a great deal to change
student attitudes: While the successful student experiences success in front of
others, the underachiever usually experiences failures publicly and successes
privately. That’s the difference—and the problem. Recognize that this is a problem
best handled by all teachers, administrators, parents, and child working together.
Acknowledge the fact that this student wastes time. Recognize the four biggest
time wasters: laziness, procrastination, distraction, and impatience. And know
that these time-consuming mistakes are abetted by a lack of preparation, thoroughness,
or perseverance. Most often, the underachiever scores low in all these areas.
Call parents. Be aware that most parents come to school expecting resistance.
Many think their child tried, but couldn’t resolve the difficulty for a variety
of reasons, none of them good. Therefore, asking parents, "What can I do?" is
disarming. Likewise, you’ll be amazed how parents change their tune when you say,
"What can we do together?" "Together" is a great word. It means sharing. It says,
"You do something, and we will too." If parents respond with a request outside
the realm of your authority, say so. But also say, "Let’s help." Teachers often
assign additional work to underachievers. Be aware that sometimes the opposite
approach produces better results. If a student won’t do class assignments, don’t
allow him/her to participate. Insist that the student sit idly. Remember, even
when kids won’t do assigned work, they still want to participate with the group.
Being included is very important to children. Sometimes, kids can learn a very
valuable lesson, and arrive at better decisions, if they are forbidden to work
for short periods of time. Some underachievers may change their values and actions
more quickly if they are sometimes not permitted to work. Never use class work
as punishment. Such a practice only reinforces the negative feelings the underachiever
has for school. Remember, problem students already possess negative attitudes.
Therefore, if you’re going to punish, use a form of punishment that is not a part
of the classroom learning experience, and you may solve a problem rather than
compound one. Don’t put the underachiever down or make him/her feel insignificant
in any way. If you do, you may be inadvertently denying the prestige motivator
in learning. Likewise, if you don’t give recognition for success, you can’t use
the prestige motivator effectively. Don’t frighten the underachiever or make threats
concerning grades or behavior. The insecurity produced may be counterproductive
to motivation and may make the problem worse. Don’t be cold, sarcastic, or intolerant.
The underachiever may learn the wrong lessons from such approaches. Most of all,
this student needs a firm, caring, and unified effort from all the adults in his/her
life. If the student does not try, withdraw privileges at school. Notify parents;
they may want to take similar action at home. Be careful about telling a student
he/she can’t pass your course or class. You may not only lose a student’s interest
and motivation from now until the end of school—you may also be creating a discipline
problem. Remember, when hope is gone, so is interest. Then, the stage is set for
a discipline problem to develop. Writing comments on student papers such as "This
isn’t worth grading," or crumpling a student assignment and throwing it in the
wastebasket can completely demoralize a student. Never belittle any student effort.
Your challenge as a professional teacher is to motivate students to improve their
efforts. Rejection only creates another teacher hurdle. Talk to this student about
his/her strengths and possibilities. The underachiever already knows his/her weaknesses.
Make specific recommendations for things this student can do during the summer.
Research summer courses and have enrollment forms available. Give this student
summer assignments and volunteer to see him/her during the summer. Even if the
student does not respond, your offer has conveyed an important message. Your interest
alone can give hope—and maybe motivation not to give up. Maintain contact with
parents—and talk with next year’s teachers as well. Remember, perspective reveals
that most students will grow up to be responsible and productive adults. They
need to remember our belief in them. These students can learn—if given time. Your
own self-confidence can work for you rather than against you if you take the right
approach with students. First, be careful about telling. Second, take extreme
care not to talk in absolute terms when sharing ideas or suggestions. Even when
all the evidence is in, be careful about projecting the image that what you think
and say is the only way to do things. Such actions are exclusive rather than inclusive.
They put people down—and maybe even out of one’s life. Likewise, ask rather than
demand. And when you are asking, always remember to tell why you are making the
request. Telling people what to do may be the easiest, quickest way to get something
done. But it’s seldom the best. Offering a reason takes away the air of superiority
and bossiness associated with demand. It also reduces error, because when people
know why they are doing something, they are more competent in doing it. If you
want self-confidence to work for you, simply try making others feel as important
as they really are. Then you’ll surely be important to them. Without teaching,
students may never know these truths. We may not either. That’s why these principles
need discussion. Remember, final memories are dominant. Your final action should
enable students to say that they "made it" with you rather than in spite of you.
IV. MISTAKES:
Common misjudgments and errors in managing the child
which may perpetuate or intensify the problem. Quitting on the underachiever.
This is the worst thing we can do. As long as we don’t quit—even if the student
has — hope remains. Thinking it’s too late to do anything this year. It is not.
Next year offers a new beginning which may be the result of our final influence.
That’s why we must not quit. s
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